The morning started so well. Freshly brewed coffee made from organic, the day-before slow-roasted beans and freshly ground, filled my mug. The weather was cool from a north wind blowing and encouraging small waves to gurgle up into our rock bluff shoreline. Some good words found their way to paper and more details of the work I’m doing emerged victorious. It was a good start.
Then I went online.
To find a troll had emerged from whatever dark place he, she or it normally inhabited to take a run – a nonsensical run – at one of my tomato videos. This particular video has garnered more comments than any other because I “restore” a plant back to a staked, and highly pruned plant and this in some way seriously bothers those who prefer their tomatoes to wander freely on an open range. It brings out all the misconceptions about pruning and growing tomato plants you can imagine and probably some you can’t. More righteous gardeners comment per square inch on this one than any other I’ve produced.
I should have simply deleted the comment, moving on with my day. Instead, I explained what I had done and why. Bad mistake. The troll pounced, pointing out how she, it or he was right and I was obviously a mistaken-mistake of a gardener and should return whence I came (and that’s the polite version).
Delete, delete, delete. All three posts were taken out and sent to wherever deleted posts go on Youtube. Leaving the troll the clear winner here and me in some form of funk – the beauty of my morning in tatters around my knees.
Oh yeah, I know I’m not supposed to let this kind of thing get to me. And yeah, I know these unhappy people inhabit a world far different than my own (sort of like right-wing Republicans do) and I shouldn’t let them get to me. I *know* all this stuff but somebody has to get my brain into communication with my heart/gut on this kind of thing.
My remedy for this was to 1) make another pot of coffee (damn but it’s good) and 2) write this post to vent.
But it’s hard people. It’s really hard to develop a thick enough skin. And to be frank, I don’t want to insulate myself from the world that much. To be insensitive to those around me, protecting myself at all costs is a high cost to do online writing.
Protecting myself from the underbelly means erecting barriers strong enough to stop the good folks as well. I know some who have done it but really…
What a way to have to live.
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