I debated whether to post this on my writer site or my fiction site. The non-fiction side of me won out. I recently sent this letter to our Member of Parliament, Mr. Scott Reid. Canadians will understand.
Dear Mr. Reid:
I understand the Prime Minister still hasn’t filled his Senate vacancy and I’d very much like to toss my hat into the nomination ring.
To begin with, my place of residency is clear. And getting my wife away from our lovely Amherst Island home is not going to be possible so that is taken care of. Expense accounts would be clearly above board on this issue.
I’ve been a successful non-fiction writer all my working life, and am the most published Canadian garden writer in either the twentieth or twenty-first century. This contrasts with the fiction storytelling crowd that seems to have been appointed by all parties to our noble institution.
My taxes are all paid up and done by an accountant every year. No problems there.
When I ran my twenty-thousand square feet of greenhouses, I used oil as a heating source as it was the easiest and best way to fight winter’s cold. I suspect this history will play rather well in the Western provinces.
I’ve also been an organic gardener for longer than it has been popular and suspect I can out-green any environmentalist you care to name. I even built a canoe, that most Canadian of boats, to take out onto the channel in front of our island and I use an electric motor on it in case of broken paddles. This uses a battery, one I might add that is solar charged.
Not only am I a noted gardener, I’m also a leader in using technology in modern publishing platforms. So I speak to all ends of the tech-spectrum and am as comfortable hooking up wifi in Starbucks as I am filming for something like Aurasma.
And when it comes to social media and explaining political positions via social media, I have that covered for that august body as well. With over 2 million Youtube views on my channel and decent sized audiences on both Twitter and Facebook, I stand ready to explain any issue in words people can actually understand.
I have vast experience making sense of bureacratese. My last freelance editing job saw me reduce a 40,000 word research study result to 6000 words of public report. From incomprehensible to public-ready in one long weekend. Think what I could do for the Senate with this experience.
Having said that, I am 65 years old so if the Prime Minister needed to forget the report or make it short as well as dumb, I stand ready to take the fall for having advanced age-related forgetfulness.
And speaking of advanced age, if appointed I’d only be eligible to serve for a few years before the Prime Minister got to do it again.
In short, I bring a vast range of options and opportunities to the position and I’d humbly (did I mention how humble I am and what a great public speaker, fund-raiser I am?) submit my name in nomination.
Douglas C. Green